“What is an Enlightened Habit?” is a question that occurred to me after realising that my life was filled with some unenlightened habits.
For example:
smoking,
drinking to excess,
eating badly,
failing at relationships,
living wastefully,
bad financial management and probably the worst unenlightened habit of them all……
living life on someone else’s terms.
The last one may not sound like the worst but essentially when I stop and think about it living your life in line with what someone else expects of you or in a way we perceive them to expect us to behave then we are removing our own choice and ability to decide and live in a way we really want for ourselves.
To my mind all the other habits stem from the final one on the above list. That is not to remove my own responsibility from having those negative habits. Of course it was myself who decided to have a cigarette, to eat convenience food and to drink too much. However by not taking the time to reflect on my self and who I really am, I am not allowing myself to make the choices I really want to make.
This means I am at the mercy of influences outside of me that will easily sway me to behave negatively or in a way that is not healthy and limits my potential.
As I teach philosophy and have a keen interest in various religious practices I sought to think how it is possible to change many of the negative habits I have. It occurred to me that whenever I had in the past tried to make positive changes such as giving up smoking or adopting a healthier diet then one of two things would happen:
i) I would first of all find that I had some success in the area (for example giving up smoking for a week or so) and then allowing myself a wee treat of falling off the wagon for an amount of time more extensive than I had given up for.
ii) In other instances I would find the change too restrictive and simple give up telling myself it was too hard, feeling tremendously guilty as a result.
I eventually realised that success in any area of life is not immediate and it takes preparation and persistence to succeed. It also takes resolve, and a big part of that resolve is realising that mistakes happen and not to punish myself too much for not achieving my goal. Very often that guilt can be a barrier in itself to achieving a goal. especially when it affirms self doubt.
In essence instead of withdrawing into negative habits then you should seek out enlightened habits. Think about positive steps which you can build on slowly and firmly without putting too much pressure on yourself to change over night realising that profound and meaningful change comes over time and with practice and dedication.
Part of my journey has been to form enlightened habits so hopefully I can share what little I know and have learned with you in the hope you can gain some use from it.
My self and my friends that I work with at Enlightened Habits are not therapists or councillors, we wish to share our experiences with you and help you in any way we can.
